In Your name,I sincerely pray

I am never a good o' faith believer of any religions.
To defend myself,my situation,my family,my sins,I always say that I give my fair share of respect and belief in most religions,if not all.(excluding those unordothox.)

Yet in times of helpless-ness,all I could do is to pray to the God that I find most easily to associate with.
I would have imagined that God would not allow a half believer near his doorsteps of his magnificent kingdom though.

In sane's mind,I do have a choice over my religion.
Everyone do.
But I am too trapped in a mindset that my family ruled the priority over mine.
I would have opt to suffer twice than them to go through any pain.
Thus born the "Eowyn" in me.

It was supposed to be a happy short break for my parents at Bangkok.
I leave the things that they have to worry about till they return.
I leave the responsibilities that I have to really bear till they return.

It was only yester-noon that my mum called back to complain how hot and not fun the whole trip was.
Especially lugged with a man who doesnt enjoy shopping.
That is my dad.

It was too yester night that I received the bad news.
One news that stole away the smile and the joy of my coming 21st.

My old man was in hospital with a grief soak and worried sicken wife of his.

The news came that my dad must have broken his blood vessel in his nose and blood wont stop gushing out.
It must be one of the arteries/veins.
My coaching of P4 science did not fail me with the knowledge that was long forgotten.

And now he is still in there.

Misfortunes after misfortunes.
Why is it on them and then with me alone now,here.

My student's mum called in with a bloody excuse of not wanting me to come over for tuition later.
We all know how lazy of an arse that mother can be.
I am too jaded to argue and probably do her wishes on saving the bloody $20 per lesson.
I thought of the workload that may be on the hike in the future days.(very likely)
I may not have the time to teach as well.
But I leave it to 'What comes May'.
It is a concern that could not be salvaged till the time comes.

My parents cant be back to Singapore till my dad's bleeding finally stop.(which I hope will do soon.)Coz they cant take the flight with a nose that blood keep POURING out.
Keep..pouring out...like tap that wont be turn off.
That was what my mum described.

But I heard that operation cant be done there too?Why?
What sort of mechanic would stop a broken artery/vein from mending?

What can we wait for?
The broken tissue to heal by itself.Hopefully the blood dried off and form a clog that would stop the blood from flowing out?
Or wait til the blood flows dry!!!

If you who read this now thinks that how calm I can be,sitll blogging in full structure sentences.
I wish you have a clue how hard I am fighting to stay rational and calm.

I was supposed to have a dinner with my friends tonight.
And amazingly for the first time,everyone's response was positive.

But...now the joy is robbed.
On one hand I know staying at home doesnt help.
On one hand I have no mood to go else where.

...
I know,God...
That you wont accept a half doer.
That you required one with complete faith in you and your teachings.

But I believe that you are wise.Wisest of all.
The Almighty would have understand better than any other that Christianity is only one of the religions that teach the same value.

Stories are spread.
Faith is fabricated.

I ,of all tiny creations dare not speak ill nor harm.
I fear as much as I honour.

Miracles are performed.
Coincidence is chanced.

Sins or no sins,we are all made to learn and repent.

I do not know how much you can see this or hear me,but I believe if there is a God,a You,my messages shall be read.

I do not dare to ask for consent nor ask for your forgiveness for I do not laid myself in your teachings.

I just pray...
I know that my mortal father often speak ill of Christianity.
But understand that he was misled and he too,has his own faith in another avenue.

If you are angry,let it be on me.

His choice of religion is not wrong and is one that values ordothox teachings.

It is only us,humans that draw the lines.

Please...let my love ones be alright.

My family,my friends.

Let no harm come their way.

And now...let my worried sicken mother rest with relieve.
My still conscious(thank God) but injured father be heal.

It is my silent tear.

My silent tear prayer.

You hear,my God.